Sunday, March 21, 2010

My Daddy

11 years ago today I was 14 years old enjoying life. I remember this day like it was yesterday. I just came home from a friends birthday party and there was a knock on my door and there stood my Uncle Shed at 1am with this look on his face that would change my life. My Father was dead.

8 days before my 15th birthday my Dad was in a car accident and died; I shut down. It was the first time that I didn't really speak and had no emotion. I took it harder than anyone would ever known but I kept it all to myself. I felt if I didn't share my feeling on my Dad it would be a part him that just belonged only to me. This is the start of the "bad girl" creation at this point I didn't care anymore. I acted up and out..allowing suppressed emotions to bring me to boiling points.

I loved my father and I thought he was the coolest man to walk this earth. Just like any young Dad there were issues but I knew my Daddy loved me and I loved him. He was a Chicago Firefighter, his last house was at Meigs Field Air Sea Rescue. (I told ya'll he was cool) He was smart, educated, gorgeous and a force to be reckoned with! My dad would pick me up from school, show up to my school events and all the single Mom's loved him! My temperament is 100% percent my Dad where as my laid back side is my Moms. I like to think they both just even me out but I do tend to have more "PAUL MOMENTS" in my life.

I party like a rock-star during my birthday week to fill a void of missing him making myself believe it was in celebration of his life. I've never taken the time to visit his grave site before today. But, today at 26 with a 17 year old sister (we have the same dad) I stand stronger than I have ever been in life. Today at noon I will visit his grave site with my close family and friends. This is huge for me but its time. For so long I've used my dad as an excuse to be BAD, but today I use his name to be GREAT! Oh don't get me wrong I cry my eyes out all the time over him I just never wanted to share. I know deep inside my father would be so proud of me and the things I have done! I am just like him! Today as the tears fall they are tears of GREATNESS. Tears of knowing that I will see him again. Tears of love and passion! Tears of strength! I stand stronger than I ever have! I have come so far and I'm such a fighter that I can not give up now! Shit happens but we determine our destiny. My little sister is laying next to me as I write this blog at 3am and I look at her and she looks like him and it reminds me of what my purpose is here in life again! I have accepted that things happen for a reason. People are placed in your life for a reason and taken for a reason!

At 14 and losing a parent that I loved 8 days before my birthday tore me up inside, but I totally understand what GOD was trying to teach me. PAUL STEVEN TORRENCE I love you with all my heart there isn't another man in my life that can compare to how I feel about you! Your name tattooed on me for a reason, down to every memory that I have that will never be erased! I know that you are proud and I am making all the changes just as you would have wanted me to GREATNESS is the goal!

You rest in peace because where you are can not compare to where we are! Nadia is sleeping right next to me and I promise I will look out for her and take care of her. You already know I got her! I am sharing with her all my memories of you. We love you DADDY! Your girls will forever be your "GIRLS" and always your angels our halo's are just a bit tilted.

To my family and friend who have helped me through this situation with love and understanding: my Aunt Tracy you are so strong I admire you. My Mother, My Nana and Grand Daddy for words of strength. My Ashley Thomas for always being that friend that just plain out understood me when no one else did! To everyone for all the love and support of everyone who genuinely cared! Thank you!

So let's bask in being GREAT because we are GREAT! Live life to the fullest and never have regrets!
Greatness is in the air©*

*I wrote this at 3 am it all over the place so forgive me*

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


“There exists a friend sticking closer than a brother.” --- Proverbs 18:24

Dedicated to my LOVES
Natasha, Fallon, Kendra, Crystal, Alycia, Markita, DeAnna, Terenee, Shanetta, Brittany, Skylar, Alex, Sarah and Aliea
I THANK YOU "LOVES" for undying LOVE and support..I will always make myself available to YOU when needed....GOOD or BAD we are still together!!!

An enduring friendship is truly needed to the human soul as food and water are to our body. Whether we are rich or poor, we all need friends, its our friendships that will pull us through thick and thin. Friends are our constant source of joy that uplift our spirits every time we’re with them soaking up moments of unending laughter and getting well with each other. Friends can provide us deep and healthy conversation that expands our knowledge and wisdom. Much-needed advices in times of challenges are readily available when we need them and our friends are ready to give them without hesitation. They wipe away all our tears when sorrow and loneliness strike. They are our solid anchor when we need stability when troubles calls. They are our defensive shields when HATERS are all over the place. Sister. Sis, Girls , Ladies bitches "LOVES" whatever name we call our friends they are truly, a priceless possessions to keep for a lifetime. Its hard to maintain a REAL friendship yet along several! I am BLESSED to have my "LOVES".....I need and crave my friendships.

Friday, March 12, 2010


K'Jon on the Ocean

My New Theme Music

Raheem DeVaughn ft. Wale - The Greatness


Where do u find your source of greatness? This is a question we all need to spend time considering because it will be different for us all especially if discovering greatness is a journey you are thinking about taking. Let me share with you how I found my greatness.

When I think about my own greatness I think about the feeling that comes when I connect with God , when I stand in complete faith and believe that whatever I have asked for will be delivered. My greatness isn't one thing but a multitude of things that leave me feeling at peace, connected and always confident. Fear and guilt can not live when my greatness is present.

The good news is that no matter where your life is right now, no matter how bad things have become, at any moment you can choose to turn it around with one simple thought "I can choose to be happy despite my current circumstances"It was that one thought that began to turn my life around after two years of disconnecting from sources to 'do it my way' and making a complete mess of it. I awoke one morning and a voice whispered "despite how bad you think things are you can still choose to be happy" The simple act of choosing to be happy put me on the path of reconnecting back to everything I had turned away from.

So my question to you is, "What is the source of your GREATNESS?"
Greatness is in the air ©
Tiffany Torrence-Davis